My Valentine
by ducktapedmoose
Summary: WARNING: Graphic violence coming up soon.
1. Taken

Disclaimer: Definitely don't own it. Definitely don't. WARNING: Later chapters of this fic contain sensitive material (assault, rape) Beware! ------------------- February 14, 2004 JAG Headquarters Falls Church, Virginia 0900 EST  
  
Sighing, I lean back and rub my forehead. This has been one of the worst days in the history of the world, and it's only 0900. Already today, Mac has gotten three boquets of flowers from Webb. Granted, they weren't roses, which makes it a little easier to bear, but seeing the numerous decorations in her office is irritating. I haven't talked to her today, haven't even seen her. I think she might be in court.  
  
What an ass Webb is-  
  
"Harm?" Her voice startles me from my thoughts, and I lean forward in my chair to look at her. Sarah MacKenzie stands in my doorway, looking more beautiful than I ever remember seeing her, just looking at me.  
  
"Yes?" I ask, trying to sound at least semi-formal. After all, she is the woman that broke my heart, and is smearing it all over the ground every day. She hesitates for a moment then steps into the office.  
  
"Hey. How are you?" She asks. Narrowing my eyes a little, I shrug.  
  
"Been better. Was there something you needed?" I ask her. She takes a breath and sits down in a chair in front of my desk, looking tense, nervous.  
  
"No, I didn't need anything. I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't spoken in a while." She says. I nod.  
  
"Well, we're both busy. What can you do?" I ask rhetorically. She glances away from me for a second, then shrugs.  
  
"I don't know...We could be doing things together after work or something, when we're not working on opposite sides of a case." Her voice sounds so timid, so innocent, so...not like the Sarah MacKenzie that despises me and never wants to be with me.  
  
"I wouldn't imagine that you have time to do anything with Maddie and I. After all, you've got Webb now..." I say, motioning toward her office full of flowers. She glances that way and then rolls her eyes, scoffing quietly.  
  
"Yeah-the man that decides that there's one day in the entire year that he can do something romantic...He's-" She stops, as if realizing who she's saying these things to. Then she shakes her head self-deprecatingly.  
  
"I suppose I'm complaining about nothing. After all, at least he decided to be romantic once." She says, her reasoning sounding weak to me and probably even more so to her. Leaning forward in my chair, I shake my head.  
  
"No...You're not complaining. You deserve to have someone that will treat you like a princess every day. I know if I had a girlfriend, I'd do that." There's an awkward pause as we look at each other. God, I hope she can't see the longing for her that's in my eyes. I miss her so much. After a length of time that only she could exactly tell, she smiles a little.  
  
"I'm sure that any woman would be glad to have you as a boyfriend." She says, her eyes still boring into mine, her gaze so completely focused on me that I almost forget the tense atmosphere in the room, the things that happened in Paraguay. I shake my head, sadness creeping into my heart.  
  
"Not the one that I really wanted. Not you." I say softly, watching as she blinks slowly and then sits back in her seat, still looking at me. A tiny smile creeps across her beautiful lips and she shakes her head.  
  
"I never said that I didn't want that. I said that it could never work out. And it couldn't, no matter how much either of us wanted it to, Harm." She says calmly, an air of sad acceptance in her voice. She wants me? I don't think she knows how wrong she is about us working out.  
  
"I'm a stubborn man, Sarah. I can make things work. Besides, I'm so taken with you that I don't think it'd be hard for me to give a little so we would work out." I say quietly. She raises an eyebrow, a degree of some unidentifiable emotion coming into her beautiful eyes.  
  
"You're taken with me?" She asks, not sarcastic or mean. Just surprised. I nod.  
  
"I thought you knew." I say, knowing deep down that she does know. She knows I'm in love with her. Shrugging, she raises both eyebrows a little.  
  
"How? You never told me." She says. How are we having this conversation, now that we're barely friends anymore, when we couldn't have it when we were closest?  
  
"No, I never told you directly, but I resigned to come after you in Paraguay. I came back to JAG to be near you. I'm telling you now that I'm taken with you." I say. The boldness that suddenly entered into me seems to have startled her, because she blinks and stares blankly at me for a second before letting out a breath I didn't realize she was holding. Her cheeks turn pink, her eyes divert from me. After a moment of what I assume was composing herself, she looks back at me.  
  
"So you're taken with me. That's kind of vague, Harm." She states, beating around the bush. She's avoiding actually asking me to say the words. I smile a little sadly.  
  
"I'm not allowed to be anything but vague. You're taken, remember?" I say, raising an eyebrow. She purses her lips and looks over at her office, the flowers sitting there. Then she looks back, directly at me.  
  
"I'm not taken." She says simply, her voice soft. Frowning, I lean forward.  
  
"What do you mean you're not? What about Webb? What about the flowers? The being romantic once a year?" I ask, rattling off questions before she can possibly answer any of them.  
  
"I'm not taken because I broke up with Clay last week. The flowers are because he wants me to take him back, and the being romantic once a year thing I said because I didn't want to tell you that I broke up with him." She answers my queries, all the while twisting her Marine Corps ring around her slender finger. I don't get it.  
  
"If you came in here with the intention of not telling me that you broke up with Webb, then why did you change your mind?" I ask her. One corner of her mouth curves upward slightly.  
  
"Because I would have felt guilty keeping it from you, especially after you told me something as important as how you feel about me." She says, her tone of voice and the look on her face making my insides turn to jelly.  
  
"Ah, I see." I say, not really understanding at all. What does all of this mean? She nods, smiling at me a little more now.  
  
"Are you really taken with me?" She asks, although she doesn't sound in the least bit insecure. I nod emphatically.  
  
"Completely." I say, just saying in different words that I'm completely in love with her. I don't know why it's so much easier to say it this way. A full-blown, beautiful beyond all reason, take my breath away, Sarah MacKenzie smile crosses her face, and my brain ceases to function. She stands up slowly, then walks toward the door and is about to open it when she turns back, looking at me.  
  
"I want to see you tonight." She says quietly. When I comprehend what she's saying, I nod.  
  
"Do you want me to come to your place?" I ask, already looking forward to it. Tonight, I will finally make my move on her, and by the time the night is over, I'll know what it is to make love to Sarah MacKenzie, to tell her that I love her. I'm sure of it. She nods.  
  
"Yeah. Come over as soon as you can after you change and spend some time with Maddie." She says, her eyes burning into mine. I nod.  
  
"I'll be over as soon as I can be." I say, watching her smile and then leave my office.  
  
I sit back in my chair, watching as she goes to her office and looks at the flowers there, shaking her head and then calling Coates in from the bullpen. Coates listens to some brief instructions, then picks up the three boquets of flowers and carries them out of Mac's office, to a large trash can in the bullpen.  
  
With that, I know that she's mine. Sarah is finally mine.  
  
----- 


	2. Flowers and Maddie

Disclaimer: Definitely don't own it. Definitely don't. WARNING: Later chapters of this fic contain sensitive material (assault, rape) Beware! ------------  
  
Instead of doing any work after I talked to Mac, I formulated a plan to completely win her over. After all, it couldn't be just as easy as just telling her that I'm taken with her-I have to at least do something sweet before I completely sweep her off her feet tonight.  
  
So about an hour ago, I called the nearest florist and ordered my own flower arrangement.  
  
Speaking of winning her heart, the florist delivery man just walked in, carrying a vase with eight long-stemmed red roses in it. I grin and watch as he walks directly to Sarah's office, no doubt he's been there a few times today already. He knocks and I watch as she looks up from her work, gesturing him in. He hands her the flowers and the card that I ordered with them. Smiling widely, she thanks him and he leaves.  
  
She looks at the flowers, then sniffs them, inhaling deeply the scent that reminds me so much of her. Then she opens the card and reads it, which doesn't take long, because there are only a few words. The card reads,  
  
'One rose for each year I've been taken with you.  
-H.R.'  
  
When she looks up from the card, she turns toward my office and looks directly at me, a look on her face that I've never seen before. She looks...She looks in love. I just meet her gaze and look at her the same way, letting my expression say the words that I haven't been able to say to her directly.  
  
I love you Sarah, so much.  
  
She understands, and nods slightly, a barely visible gesture. Then she smiles a little, her eyes returning my feelings one hundred percent. I can't help but grin and hold back the tears that spring to my eyes as I realize that she's in love with me, too.  
  
I let out a shuddering breath, looking away from her beautiful face so I don't completely lose my composure. I look at my computer and start typing away on a brief that I was supposed to be working on all morning.  
  
I don't know how long I've been working when there's a knock on my door. Looking over, I see that same delivery man standing at my door and I frown. What's he doing here? Glancing at the clock on my computer, I see that it's been an hour and a half since I started typing.  
  
"Are you Harmon Rabb?" The delivery man asks. I nod. Coming forward with a vase containing six long-stemmed, red roses, he sets them on my desk and hands me the card. I take the card and look at the man, puzzled.  
  
"We've had more deliveries to this office this morning...Especially to that Sarah MacKenzie. She's a real looker, ain't she?" He asks as I sign the clipboard that he hands me. I nod, smiling at him. He smiles back, an oddly familiar smile that I swear I've seen before. I get a chill that passes after a second.  
  
"Yeah, she is. Thank you." He nods and walks away, leaving me with my six roses and my card. I sit down, opening the card as I do. When I see what the card says, I smile.  
  
'Here are six roses-one for each of your smiles. I'm looking forward to tonight.  
-S.M.'  
  
I wonder if she's planning on explaining my smiles to me. I didn't know that I had six smiles...  
  
Looking up at her, I can't help but grin as I see her sitting at her desk, concentrating on some document in front of her, her brow furrowed and her lips pursed. She looks so beautiful. I've all but forgotten about the strange delivery man.  
  
She has four smiles.  
  
------------------- Harm's Apartment North of Union Station After Work  
  
I ran out of JAG the moment that I could, hurrying home to change and spend a minute or two with Maddie before going over to Mac's.  
  
When I open the door to my apartment, I'm surprised to see Maddie in my livingroom, doing homework.  
  
"Hey, Maddie. What's up?" I ask, throwing my cover and briefcase onto my desk and loosening my tie, taking off my jacket. She looks up at me, smiling widely.  
  
"Mac called. She said to bring 'the movie' when you come over." She says, her grin sly. Narrowing my eyes, I nod.  
  
"Thanks." I say simply, going to the kitchen to get a drink of water. Maddie gets up and follows me, resting her elbows on the breakfast bar.  
  
"So, you're going to Mac's tonight?" She asks in a voice that tells me she's already made a hundred conclusions about my date with Mac. I nod.  
  
"Yes, I am." I say. Grinning, she raises her eyebrows.  
  
"On Valentine's Day? Is this a date, Mister Rabb?" She asks, teasing. Lifting an eyebrow, I chuckle.  
  
"Maybe. Why do you wanna know?" I ask, trying to sound cool. She shakes her head.  
  
"Harm, come on! You're finally having a date with Mac? This is great!" She exclaims, sounding as excited as I am. I try to act confused.  
  
"Why? What's the big deal?" I ask, really playing dumb now.  
  
"You can't fool me, Harmon Rabb. You're in love with her, and tonight, you're finally going to tell her. And by the way, what's 'the movie'?" She asks, hinting to something. I smile and shrug.  
  
"It's this movie that we've liked watching together since we became friends. We watched it the first time we hung out at her place and now we watch it together whenever we can. It's like an old tradition, I guess." I tell her. She looks suspicious.  
  
"What movie is it? I haven't seen any around here." She says. I glance away from her, going into the bedroom to change my shirt. She stays in the kitchen, getting something to eat as she waits for my answer. Staying behind the glass, I change and try to avoid answering.  
  
"Harm? You can't avoid my question forever." She taunts in a sing-song voice. I roll my eyes and finish buttoning my shirt, coming out of the bedroom and looking at her warily.  
  
"The movie is The Sound of Music, and I keep it in my car for whenever I go to her place." I say, awaiting the inevitable laughter. Sure enough, Maddie bursts into a laugh that makes me a little grumpy.  
  
"You...Like...The Sound...of...Music?" She laughs. I shrug, grabbing a belt from my closet and putting it on.  
  
"Mac likes it a lot, and I like it because she does." I mutter, buckling the belt. Maddie grins at me.  
  
"Aww, Harm, that's so cute!" She says. I roll my eyes again and gesture to myself.  
  
"Do I look alright? Do you think she'll like the shirt?" I ask. Maddie squints, looking at my kakhis and button-up red shirt. Then she steps past me, into the bedroom, shaking her head.  
  
"Go with a blue shirt, Harm. It'll bring out the color in your eyes, which she'll love." She says, throwing a dark blue button-up shirt at me. I shrug, taking off the one I'm wearing and putting the blue one on over the white undershirt I'm wearing. Maddie looks at me, then nods.  
  
"That's better. You'll knock her socks off." She says, going back into the kitchen. I go to the bathroom and make sure my hair's not sticking up, which it isn't. Then I grin and start walking out of the bathroom when I see Maddie standing in the middle of the bedroom, shaking her head.  
  
"Nope. Get back in there and put on some cologne." She says. What?  
  
"What? Why? Are you saying I smell?" I ask, joking. She shakes her head again.  
  
"No, my friend, Mac loves your cologne." She says. Narrowing my eyes, I ask,  
  
"How do you know that?" She grins and sighs.  
  
"Harm, you've got to be a woman to understand, and you're not. I've seen this myself. The last time she came over, and you weren't wearing your cologne, she looked at you dreamily, but she wasn't shaken. When you were wearing the cologne, and you walked by her, she got an inch shorter." She says. I'm so confused.  
  
"What do you mean she got an inch shorter?" I ask. She rolls her eyes as if I'm the most dense creature on the planet.  
  
"Harm, you and your cologne made her weak at the knees. Now isn't that what you want?" She asks, knowingly. I nod, turning around and spraying come cologne on.  
  
"Yeah...Thanks Maddie." I say, turning back around and walking out of the room. She turns as well and walks with me to the door.  
  
"No problem, Harm. Give her hell." She says. I glare at her.  
  
"Give her what?" I ask, trying to stifle a grin. Maddie looks around quickly then back at me, a sweet smile on her face.  
  
"Give her...um...candy!" She covers, giving me a great idea. My Marine loves chocolate. I grin.  
  
"Great idea, Maddie. Thanks!" I say, kissing her on the forehead and waving as I walk out the door. What would I do without her?  
  
----------- 


	3. A Quiet Apartment

----------- Mac's Apartment Georgetown 40 Minutes Later  
  
After a quick stop at the candy shop, here I am. Here I am. Standing at her door, staring at the number in front of me...So, I should probably knock...I'm so nervous. Why am I so nervous? I am here tonight to see my Marine, and all I've done so far is stand here, staring at her door.  
  
Gathering up my courage, I knock.  
  
Nothing happens.  
  
I knock again.  
  
Again, nothing.  
  
Frowning, I knock once more, calling out,  
  
"Sarah? Are you in there?" Silence.  
  
Panic is overcoming me quickly, consuming me like a fire spreading through my body. I reach into my pocket and pull out my keys, finding hers quickly on the ring and unlocking the door.  
  
I shove the door open and look around in the inky darkness. No light is on in the entire room. A chill runs through me and I reach over to turn on the light. The light comes on to reveal...  
  
An empty room.  
  
Nothing is out of order, everything's fine. Her shoes are even sitting in their place next to the door. The apartment is cold, though, icy air flowing freely from the general direction of her bedroom. Without hesitating, I drop the box of candy and the movie and walk briskly that way.  
  
Slamming the door all the way open, I enter her bedroom expecting to find her asleep or something equally as safe. Nothing, no military training or past experiences could have prepared me for what I see right now.  
  
God.  
  
------  
  
Sorry for the suspense and the short chapter...The next one's longer. 


	4. Brooding Vigil and Waking Up

Author's Note: I really hope that no one is offended by the description of what happened to Mac...It's in this chapter and it's a little graphic.  
  
-------------- Bethesda Naval Hospital Bethesda, Maryland 3 Hours Later  
  
I sit in the chair next to her bed, my fingers steepled in front of me, staring at her hands resting on top of each other on her stomach. Her sleep- slowed breathing moves her hands up and down every few seconds, entrancing me in the spell that I'm under.  
  
It's my fault she's here.  
  
If I didn't care for her so much, didn't love her so much, she wouldn't be here. When I found her, I knew what had happened. I didn't need the note that had been left on her bed to know who had done this to her.  
  
As much as I love mercy and justice, I am going to kill Clark Palmer the next time we meet.  
  
Closing my eyes, I flash back to the bedroom where I found her.  
  
~~~~ Pale moonlight filtered in through the open window, as well as the icy air that I had felt in the living room. A picture of Sarah and I sat on the dresser, the glass shattered.  
  
When I saw her, my heart stopped.  
  
She was tied to a chair, her head hanging down, her feet bound and her hands tied behind her back. She looked dead.  
  
I raced to her side, lifting her head and feeling her throat, to be sure she was alive. Her pulse was weak, but it was there anyway. Blood streamed from the corner of her mouth, her right eye was swollen and blue. I tore my eyes from her face to check the rest of her body for injuries as I untied the ropes binding her feet.  
  
Her Marine issue blouse was ripped open, buttons missing and I'm sure scattered all over the floor. Her bra was intact, but the white lace was stained with her blood, dark red. Bruises were scattered over her breasts and collarbone, dark and angry against the soft glow of the street lamp outside.  
  
Once I had her feet untied, I started on her hands, still checking her over. Red marks marred the beautiful skin of her stomach and sides, where it looked like she had been kicked by her attacker.  
  
Her hands and feet both untied, she fell into my arms, limp and cold. I had picked her up and put her on the bed, noticing with horror that her uniform skirt was riding high on her thighs. Too high. I hadn't done that when I moved her. Her pantyhose had huge rips in them, the large tears disappearing under her skirt.  
  
I supressed the urge to be sick and pulled out my cell phone, calling 911.  
  
'911 what is your emergency?' The disinterested voice had asked. I swallowed the lump in my throat.  
  
"My friend--someone broke into her apartment and beat her. She's--bleeding and it looks like she might have been raped." I said, my heart pounding in my chest as I choked out the last part. She may have been raped.  
  
'What is her address?' The voice had asked, sounding much more interested. I rattled off her address and followed the instructions to make sure she was warm, then hung up. I looked at my unconscious partner, now covered in a blanket from a nearby pile of laundry, then reached down and wiped the blood from her face. She didn't stir.  
  
The police and ambulances were on their way. What could I do while I waited for them? Stepping away from her, I had looked around, desperately trying not to think of what had been done to her, what may have been done to her.  
  
Then I saw it. The note was on the bed, written in block handwriting on the back of the card that I had sent to Mac earlier that day. Chills and anger coursed through me when I read it.  
  
'HOW DO YOU FEEL KNOWING THAT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE IS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF YOU? YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME LAST TIME WE MET, RABB. I'M GOING TO WIN OUR LITTLE GAME THIS TIME.'  
  
Palmer. It could only be him. I made a silent vow then, as I looked at my unconscious love on the bed, saw the blood streaming from her split lip. I knew then that I couldn't let him get to her again. He would never touch her again, ever.  
  
I decided then that I was going to have to kill him.  
  
~~~~ I close my eyes for a second, supressing the rage that I've been battling since I saw the note. For the first time since I found her in her bedroom, I look at the face of the sleeping woman in the hospital bed.  
  
She's so beautiful. So fragile, so tough...So many contradictory things all at once. She is amazing. And she's hurt, in the hospital because of that psycho Palmer.  
  
For a moment, I allow my inner conflict and grief to overcome me, and I lie my head on the bed, turned away from her face. The top of my head is just barely touching her hip, but the physical contact is nice. Soothing.  
  
He didn't rape her. According to the tests that had been done on her, she hadn't had intercourse in at least the past 72 hours. There were no traces of lacerations or bruising to indicate that she had been raped with some inanimate object. Nothing. He just wanted me to know that he could have done it.  
  
A few unwanted tears escape, and I squeeze my eyes shut against them. Don't let them come, don't let them come. I can't let him get to me.  
  
But he's already done that, hasn't he?  
  
By attacking Mac and showing that he could have done any number of horrific things to her, he got straight to my heart. He knows that she's everything to me. It wouldn't even surprise me if he was at JAG today, watching the exchange between she and I.  
  
Wait...The delivery man. It was him. I should have known, especially with the feeling that I got in my gut when he smiled. I knew he was familiar. God, he was right there. He was in my office, in her office...  
  
Even more tears come now, pain laced with anger. I can't stand knowing that she's hurt because of me. I wish that she would wake up.  
  
Suddenly, I feel a hand on my head, stroking my hair. I lift my head carefully, reaching up with my hands and taking the one that had been on my head. She's awake. And she's looking at me, her eyes sleepy and her brow furrowed. She takes her hand out of mine and lifts it to my face, thumbing away my tears.  
  
"Hi." I whisper, my voice choked. She blinks slowly, her right eye still black and blue. My heart constricts when she winces in pain, and I find myself wincing too.  
  
"Hey." She chokes out, her voice cracked and quiet. She looks around, not moving her head, and then frowns even more than before.  
  
"What?" I ask. She winces as she shifts in the bed.  
  
"What happened?" She asks. It feels like there's a truck sitting on my chest. I clear my throat.  
  
"Don't you remember?" I ask her. She shakes her head.  
  
"I--I got home and I was going to change, for you to come...Someone came in my window...He hit me with something. I don't remember anything after that." She whispers. I shake my head.  
  
"It was Palmer. He--beat you up pretty badly. I found you in your room, tied to a chair, bleeding and bruised up. You were in pretty bad shape." I mutter, my eyes roaming her face.  
  
"He's out?" She asks. I nod.  
  
"I talked to...To Webb. Palmer escaped from Leavenworth a few days ago. Webb posted some men around the room and at your apartment. Not that they'll be able to catch that psycho." I say. When I mentioned Webb, her eyes flashed with some mysterious emotion, but I let it pass. Ex-lovers are never easy to deal with, especially in her condition.  
  
"So what's my status? When can I go home?" She asks weakly. I shake my head.  
  
"They said that they want to keep you for a few days. Just to make sure." I whisper, my voice on the verge of breaking again.  
  
"Harm, what is it?" She asks. Her voice is so weak, her face so pale and tired.  
  
"I thought he--raped you." I choke out. Her frown deepens and her eyes widen slightly.  
  
"Why did you think that?" She says. I shake my head again.  
  
"He ripped your pantyhose and hiked your skirt up...He made it look like he raped you. Just so I would think that." I growl, anger beginning to seep back into me. Panic enters in her eyes.  
  
"But he didn't, did he?" Her voice is thin, but I can tell that she knows she wasn't raped. I shake my head.  
  
"No. He just staged it that way." I say. She nods. She's being incredibly calm about all of this, but I'm going to kill the sick bastard the moment I can catch him.  
  
"Harm, what are you thinking about?" She knows. I shake my head, leaning forward and kissing her forehead, being careful of her eye.  
  
"Nothing. Just how glad I am that you're okay." I whisper. She doesn't believe me, I can tell.  
  
"Harm, don't do anything stupid, please." She says, her voice holding more strength than before. She's pleading with me. I settle back into the chair, holding her hand.  
  
"I won't. I'm not leaving you." I say, looking into her eyes. She nods, staring back at me.  
  
"You know I love you, right?" She murmurs. I nod, smiling at her.  
  
"Yeah, I know." I whisper back to her. She looks satisfied and smiles at me, lying back and resting with her head turned so she can look at me. After a few minutes, she falls back asleep.  
  
The only comfort that I have right now is knowing that the entire JAG family is being protected by the CIA, and that Mattie is staying with the Admiral and Meredith. But Mac is still hurt.  
  
This is all my fault, but I'm going to make it up to her. I swear to God I will. But I'm also not going to leave her. Palmer will be back, to finish the job. I can't let that happen. My sidearm is in my car, waiting for the ride back to my place when I take Mac home. Palmer is going to pay this time.  
  
He's messed around with my mind and my emotions before, but this time he violated a sacred thing. He crossed the line from being a menace that should be in jail to a sick animal that I'm going to kill the next time I see him. He's going to pay for hurting my love.  
  
--------  
  
Hope you like it. I should have the next chapter up in a few days.  
  
- 


	5. A Nightmare to End All

My Valentine  
  
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to get this up...I've been grounded from the computer. Thanks for all the great reviews--they're appreciated big-time.  
  
~~ I don't know where I am. It's a house, a small one that is clean except for the beer bottles strewn about the floor. Looking out a window, I see that I'm somewhere in the desert. This place feels oddly familiar, but I've never been here before.  
  
Suddenly, I know why I feel this weird feeling. The little girl sitting on a chair in the kitchen, doing homework...  
  
I walk over to her, and sit down next to her. She looks up at me, big brown eyes shining and curious.  
  
"Hi. What's your name?" I ask her. She glances quickly at the living room, where a man sits in a chair, snoring. Beer bottles clutter the floor around him. Then the girl looks back at me.  
  
"I'm Sarah. What's your name?" She asks. She must only be eight or nine. It's her...  
  
"I'm Harm." I tell her. She smiles at me, a smile that is eerily similar to the one that smiles back at me whenever I see this little girl grown up. This is young Sarah MacKenzie. This doesn't make sense. Where's her mother? She didn't leave until Sarah was fifteen.  
  
"Harm's a weird name." She says, wrinkling her nose. I nod, amused at the cute gesture. She's adorable. I can see us having a daughter just like this.  
  
"Yeah, I used to think so too. But it was my dad's name, so I like it." I tell her, my stomach and chest tight as I remember more and more about the kind of childhood that the woman I love had.  
  
"Yeah, that's neat. My dad's name is Joe, but I'm glad I'm not named after him." The little girl says. I nod.  
  
"That might be weird." I say. She nods too.  
  
"Yeah." Suddenly, the man in the living room gets out of his chair and walks toward the kitchen, where little Sarah and I are talking.  
  
"SARAH! Who the hell is that?" He yells, his voice rough and his appearance even rougher. Joe MacKenzie is a handsome man, which doesn't surprise me in the least. His daughter grows up to be even more beautiful than she was as a child. Sarah and I both stand up, facing the tough-looking man that is glaring at me.  
  
"This is my friend Harm, daddy." She says, her voice small. I look over at her, almost surprised when I see that I'm three feet taller than her. She's just a kid. I look at Joe.  
  
"You little idiot. What are you doing letting strangers into the house?" He asks, glaring at his daughter. The beautiful little girl shrinks away from her father, fear in her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, daddy." She whimpers. He moves toward her, and I grab for his arm to stop him. My hand goes through him, and he strikes her so hard that she falls to the ground, crying.  
  
Joe MacKenzie never beat Sarah. This is not right.  
  
My heart aches and my body tenses, frustration welling up in me as I realize...  
  
"You have no power here, Rabb." Clark Palmer sneers, standing where Joe just was.  
  
"Palmer, if you touch her again-" I begin, but he smirks.  
  
"You can't do anything. You're powerless, and we both know how you love that." He says, turning back to Sarah and kicking her in the ribs. I try to hit him, but I'm powerless to do anything and I cringe and grab my head with my hands, trying to make this stop.  
  
When I look back at him, he's still beating her, but now she's grown up, into the woman that I know and love. Her blood stains the floor, her cries for help break my heart.  
  
"Harm, help me!" She cries, and Palmer beats her harder. Her cries continue and finally I can't take it anymore.  
  
"NOOOOO!" I scream, covering my face once again and tensing my body so much that it hurts.  
  
I want this to end.  
  
~~~~  
  
Author's Note2: Man, what a sucky dream to have...  
  
--- 


	6. To Do What Must Be Done

My Valentine  
  
~~~~  
  
"SARAH! NOOO!" I scream, opening my eyes. I feel like I'm going to be sick. Sarah is sitting up in her hospital bed, looking at me concerned.  
  
"Harm?" She asks, concern flooding her voice. I get up quickly and run to the bathroom, getting sick in the toilet. Tears run down my face and I grip the toilet tightly, my knuckles beginning to ache.  
  
Her hands are on me in less than a minute, wiping the sweat from my forehead and helping me up. She hands me a paper towel and I wipe my mouth off, looking down at her tiredly.  
  
"Harm, are you okay?" She says, tears in her eyes. I shake my head.  
  
"No, I'm not okay. I need to find Palmer." I say, looking into her eyes. She shakes her head now.  
  
"Harm, you said you were going to stay here. You can't go after him. He's psychotic. You don't know what he might do..." She says, her hands on either side of my face, calming me.  
  
"Sarah, I have to find him. He's going to kill you or someone else. I've got to get him." I say, suddenly remembering the injuries that she sustained. What is she doing out of bed?  
  
"Jesus, Sarah, get back to bed." I say, turning her around and keeping my hands on her hips as she walks back to bed. I help her in, then cover her up, not sitting down.  
  
"Harm, I don't want you to get yourself hurt." She says quietly, looking at me with an intense gaze. I nod.  
  
"I know. I won't get hurt. I promise." I tell her, grabbing her hand. I move to let her go, but she grips me tighter, pulling me closer to the bed.  
  
"Harm. Don't leave. Please." She says. I look into her eyes and see her fear, her need to have me here. I have to go find Palmer...But I'll do it later. After she falls asleep. I nod, sitting down and not letting go of her hand.  
  
There's a knock at the door before I can say anything else. I let go of her and jump from my chair, taking the steps between myself and the door before whoever is outside can come in. Yanking the door open, I startle the delivery man that stands on the other side, and he jumps.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir. Are you Harmon Rabb?" The young man asks. I nod, narrowing my eyes.  
  
"Yes." I say, looking at the large manila envelope in his hands. He hands it to me.  
  
"This is for you." He says, walking away with one last fearful glance at me. I watch him for a second, then go back into the room where Sarah waits for me. I look at the envelope, then open it to reveal a videotape.  
  
A sick feeling settles in my stomach as I read the label on the tape.  
  
'The Taming of Sarah MacKenzie'  
  
My hands unconsciously tighten around the tape until it almost snaps. Then I remember that I have to watch it. My jaw tight and my stomach upset, I look at Sarah.  
  
"What does it say?" She asks. I show her the label, and she frowns, suddenly looking more pale than she was before. She looks up at me.  
  
"Put it in." She whispers. I take a deep breath and then put the tape in the VCR that is lying on the table with the TV. Pressing play, I sit back in the chair next to the bed.  
  
Clark Palmer's face comes on the screen, sneering.  
  
"Rabb, I thought I'd do you the courtesy of giving you this tape, just so you know exactly what happened to your woman. By the way, Colonel MacKenzie, I was really expecting more of a fight from you. Well, we'll see next time, won't we?"  
  
I suppress the urge to throw the TV out the window, and my hand tightens on the armrest of the chair I sit in.  
  
The next part of the tape is sickening. It shows Mac, tied to the chair, unconscious. The blood and bruises that I saw when I found her are not there, the lights are on. Then Palmer steps into the picture, and smiles at the camera.  
  
"What's about to happen may not be suitable for viewers that are in love with Sarah MacKenzie." He says. My jaw tightens so that it hurts my teeth, and I let out a frustrated breath.  
  
The next thing that Palmer does makes me suck in that breath that I just let out. He walks over to Sarah and backhands her, right in the face. Hence the split lip.  
  
I glance at the real woman, sitting in the bed next to me. She's staring wide-eyed at the TV, and closes her eyes every time the video shows Palmer hitting her unconscious body. I look back at the screen.  
  
This is the part where her clothes got messed up. Palmer unties her and lies her on the bed, then rips her blouse open, hikes her skirt up, rips her pantyhose. I can't bear to watch as he gropes her, can't stand the sight of his hands on her, making the bruises that are on her body now...  
  
"DAMN IT!" I shout, flying out of my chair. I'm at the TV before I know what's happening, and I punch it so hard that the screen shatters, sparks fly. The adrenaline running through me now is almost unbearable, fueled by unending anger. I pick up the chair next to the TV table and throw it across the room, sending it crashing into other furniture.  
  
My anger starts subsiding now, my chest heaving with furious breathing. I am going to kill that bastard with my bare hands. I swear to god.  
  
When I realize what I've done, that I've broken the television and a bunch of furniture, that's when I notice the pain in my hand and remember that Sarah is in the room.  
  
Turning my head slowly, I look at her. The expression on her face is one that I'll never forget, as long as I live. Her lower lip is tucked between her teeth, her eyes are wide, her brow furrowed deeply. She just saw me lose it. I'm just like her father. How do I expect her to love me, to marry me, if I'm just like the man that ruined her life when she was young?  
  
"I'm sorry." I say quietly, looking at her and trying so hard to keep my emotions in check. I look down at my hand, which is gushing blood all over my arm and the floor. Suddenly flustered, I look around for a towel or something, to wipe up the mess.  
  
I didn't even notice her getting out of the bed. She grabs a towel from the table beside her bed, then walks slowly over to me. I'm transfixed on her, watching as she moves carefully in the hospital gown. I can see just how many bruises are on her collarbone and face when she's up...  
  
"Harm, hold still." She says softly, taking my hand and wrapping the towel around it. She looks up at me after a moment. "You really lost it, huh?" She asks, her voice low. I nod slowly, watching her face. She nods too.  
  
"It killed me to see him touching you like that--to know that he hurt you." I whisper. I see the understanding in her eyes.  
  
"I still don't want you to go after him, but you're going to now, aren't you?" She asks. I nod, looking at my hand.  
  
"As soon as I get this bandaged up. You understand why, right?" I ask her. Hesitating for a moment, she nods.  
  
"You love me." She says, and although surprise floods through me, I nod.  
  
"Yeah. I love you." I say, finally getting the words out. Her small smile makes me feel worlds better.  
  
My cell phone ringing breaks us from our trance. I flip it open, expecting it to be Webb. It's not.  
  
"Rabb."  
  
'Rabb, it's so good to hear your voice again. How are you buddy?' Palmer.  
  
"Damn it, Palmer. I'm going to kill you." I growl, turning away from Sarah and gripping my phone tightly.  
  
'Oh, come on, Harm. It's not like I raped her.' He sneers. I almost lose it.  
  
"Palmer, come out and face me like a man. I'm going to fucking kill you!" I shout into the phone. He laughs.  
  
'Rabb, we've got to work on your sense of humor. What, are you afraid that I'm going to screw your little girlfriend before you can?' He goads.  
  
"Damn it, Palmer." I say again. Sarah grips my arm, trying to calm me.  
  
'Look, I've got to go. I'll get ahold of you once your hand is healed.' He hangs up.  
  
My hand? He knows about that?  
  
He's here.  
  
I look at Sarah for a moment before dropping my phone and bursting out the door of her hospital room, looking both ways down the deserted hallway. A man is walking about twenty feet away, putting a cell phone away. It's him.  
  
Running after him, I see him look back and break into a run also. I've got speed up on him and tackle him as soon as I'm close enough. He struggles, but I turn him over to reveal his face.  
  
"Harm, whoa, whoa...Let's talk about this." He says, his annoying Palmer voice scratching at my brain.  
  
"Palmer, I meant what I said. I'm going to kill you." I growl, ignoring the multiple footsteps pounding down the corridoor. I start punching Palmer in the face with all my strength, savagely letting my fury through.  
  
For a second, I realize that I'm about to beat a man to death.  
  
That second of hesitation disappears when I remember the video. When I see his hands on my Sarah, the bruises on her beautiful skin...  
  
I grab his shirtfront now, slamming his head repeatedly into the hard floor as blood starts accumulating beneath him. He stops struggling, but I can't seem to stop beating his head against the floor.  
  
Two pairs of hands grab my arms and pull me off of him, kicking and screaming, literally.  
  
"I HATE YOU, PALMER! I HATE YOU! GODDAMN IT! YOU'll NEVER TOUCH HER AGAIN!"  
  
Palmer lies on the floor, the pool of blood under his head growing and his body unmoving. Looking down at my hands, I see the stains of his blood mixed with my own, feel the hot drops of blood on my face. I'm covered in it.  
  
The two security guards that are holding me watch as a couple of nurses check Palmer for a pulse, then shake their heads. He's dead. It's over.  
  
Sarah is standing not ten feet away, down the hallway, as the guards turn around to haul me out. She watches helplessly as they pull me away, and I watch her, too.  
  
"I love you, Sarah." I call out, as the men take me down the hallway. Tears fall from her eyes, and she nods.  
  
"I love you too." She calls to me. I nod and continue on my way to prison or wherever it is they're taking me.  
  
We're just outside the hospital, headed to the nearby police car, when Clayton Webb walks up, holding a piece of paper.  
  
"Hold on, officers. This man is involved in a high-level CIA operation. The man that he just killed was a terrorist from Serbia. I suggest, for your own good, that you let him go." He says smoothly, handing them the document. One reads it, then they let me go.  
  
"Sorry about that, sir." One of them says as they walk back into the hospital. I look at Webb.  
  
"Serbia?" I ask him. He shrugs.  
  
"It was all very last-minute, Rabb. I believe you owe me one?" He asks. I glare at him.  
  
"No. Now we're even." I say coldly, remembering Paraguay all too well. He looks surprised, then nods.  
  
"Right. Okay. Get back in there. I'm sure Sarah is panicking about you going to jail for her." He says. I start to walk back to the hospital, then look at him.  
  
"Thanks, Webb. I'll tell her you helped us." I say. He shakes his head, looking up at the upper floors of the hospital, where he knows she is.  
  
"No, no, don't tell her." He says quietly. I nod, turning and walking back toward the building.  
  
"Rabb?" He calls to me. Turning around, I look at him. He hesitates for a moment, then looks at me. "I knew you'd take care of her, Rabb. Just keep it up, okay? You're not the only one that cares about her." He says. I nod.  
  
"Will do, Webb." I say, turning finally and walking back in the doors and leaving Clayton Webb standing there, looking up at the third floor where Sarah rests.  
  
------- 


End file.
